Messling (Groom), Kay Ann

MONTFORT - Kay Ann Messling (Groom), age 78, passed away peacefully on December 19, 2025, after a courageous 2½ year battle with leukemia. True to form, she stubbornly did things her own way—holding strong for years and then, unexpectedly, leaving this world just days after beginning hospice care. While her passing was swift, the love she leaves behind is anything but.

Kay devoted 38 years of her life to teaching middle school, where she shaped countless young minds with her sharp wit and steady patience. She believed in education, kindness, and doing things the right way. She loved when students looked at things their own way and made connections, and that was never more apparent than when she spent years coaching Odyssey of the Mind students. She loved guiding her OM groups through their creative problems and practicing skills with them before they competed. She knew all of her students were capable of doing well if she took the time to encourage them, connect with them and meet them at their level. 

She was a deeply loyal friend, always ready with a listening ear, thoughtful advice, or practical help—usually before anyone even had to ask. She loved to read and to make beautiful handmade cards that somehow always arrived at exactly the right moment. Her creativity was matched only by her thoughtfulness and desire to spread joy.

Born into a big, loud family, as the oldest Kay naturally became the voice of reason—calm, wise, and gently persuasive, even when surrounded by chaos. One of her greatest joys was spending time with family and friends. She often spoke of motorcycle trips, sister weekends, and regaled everyone with funny stories about her childhood. She had a wonderful singing voice and would often bust out a few lines of a song when she heard something that reminded her of it.

She shared 59 years of marriage with her husband, Russ, whom she started dating in high school—a story marked by family trips, Card Club adventures, the common love of teaching and dedication to each other and family. Of all her joys, none compared to the pride and adoration she had for her four grandchildren, who were truly the lights of her life. She dedicated days each week to staying with her grandkids watching their events, reading to them, listening to their stories, watching them play video games, helping them with schoolwork, telling them funny stories and generally just being a guiding supportive presence in their lives.

Kay will be remembered for her intelligence, her kindness, her steady presence, and her ability to make others feel seen and supported. Her children, RJ and Pam, will always remember her excruciatingly slow eating, her ability to find all the things they misplaced, her inability to reach anything on a high shelf, and her shoulder pad blowing in the wind. But her children and grandchildren will also never stop missing her listening ear and advice and wishing she was still just a phone call away. The world is quieter without her, but infinitely better for the life she lived.

She is proceeded in death by her parents, Kermit and Eileen Groom; her brother, Kermit Groom; her sister Trudy Groom; her mother-in-law Elaine Barton; her brothers-in-law Rich Messling and Paul Messling II and Ron Alexander. She is survived by her husband Russ Messling; son RJ Messling (Carron Schulz); daughter Pam Schwab (Wes); grandchildren Quinn, Logan, Duncan and Leena Schwab; siblings Mike Groom (Audrey); Beth Hemmersbach (Jerry); Larry Groom (Edna); Mary Jones (Tim); Monica Alexander; Nan Oldenburg (Jim); Tom Barton (Kendelle), Terri Messling; and countless nieces and nephews. All of her family and friends left behind will carry her love, lessons, and laughter with them always.

A Celebration of Life for Kay will be held Saturday, January 17th at the Hollow Bar & Grill (102 W Main St, Montfort, WI) from 12-4 p.m. Food will be provided. In lieu of flowers or gifts, donations in Kay’s memory may be made to the Iowa-Grant Education Foundation (Iowa-Grant Excellence in Education Endowment Fund), reflecting her lifelong dedication to learning.