The Ministry of Skeptics

Dear Editor,

 Many people believe that you shouldn't go along with your spouse or partner to church if you "aren't religious" yourself. They don't like the feeling of pretending in a large group of evidently sincere believers, and, in many cases, couples simply get used to each doing their own thing on a Sunday morning. If the dynamic is long familiar and you get some alone time to tinker on your car or work in your garden, why risk altering anything?

One thing to understand about your religiously practicing partner is that faith is likely something more to them than can be categorized under the heading of hobby or special interest. You might not get it yourself, but one thing you can get is that they might really appreciate having you by their side during this time they call holy.

We are often told that "being true to yourself" is of utmost importance, but showing love for a life partner is of greater value than "authenticity." No one will make you say the Creed or pray the prayers or sing the hymns if you don't want to. Simply being there can help your partner feel less alone in church and so keep nourished and alive the faith they've been blessed with.

I remember a man named "Bill" who was the die-hard skeptic in his household but came to church practically every week with his wife and adult son ("Bill Jr."). Bill asked the best questions in adult Sunday School classes, always with respect and curiosity! When his son died of melanoma at 37 years old, Bill gave a eulogy from the pulpit, saying "All of you know that I don't believe what you all believe. But my son Bill did find faith and I saw how it gave him strength and I saw how you all supported him and cared for him while he faced down death."

There may be hidden blessings in showing up in church community with your loved ones that you wouldn't expect, things you wouldn't otherwise see or hear. We tend to think of faith as a kind of private possession when, in fact, Scripture teaches that faith is vicarious within the household and holiness imputable across the marriage bond and from parents to children (1 Cor. 6:14).

Have your doubts? The doors are open. Why not come and see?

Mark Williamson

Pastor, Grace Lutheran Church

Dodgeville, WI