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Dear Editor;
I was speaking with a friend the other day about how language shapes our understanding of the world around us. The way we talk about some issues can leave us with certain impressions that are not necessarily verbalized but still carry meaning. Suicide is an issue we need to be talking about. As we engage in these difficult conversations, it is important to consider how we are speaking about suicide itself. What we hear most often is the expression "committed suicide." The issue with phrasing it this way is the word "commit." In the dictionary, commit is defined as "to perpetrate or carry out (a crime, or immoral act)." In nearly all other cases, we use commit to refer to crimes or sins, or acts of immorality (i.e. commit burglary, commit adultery). Suicide is neither a crime nor an immoral act; it is usually the product of a mental illness or trauma. I would argue that framing it in this way only serves to further stigmatize those who have attempted suicide or struggled with suicidal thoughts, and deter them from seeking help. Suicide has deep-seated shame that has been attached to it for centuries, a shame that is hard enough to overcome without it being maligned as an act of criminality. Instead of discussing suicide with words that carry judgment, we should be speaking about it with an attitude of compassion.
There has been a movement in recent years to transition away from "committed suicide" to the expression "died by suicide." I have started to use the latter when I talk about this issue, and I would ask all the readers to join me. Admittedly, it is difficult to reprogram the language that I have used my entire life, and I still slip up sometimes. However, I find it much easier to talk about suicide now when I say that someone "died by suicide." Using "commit" always felt like a weighty accusation, and I often felt obligated to talk around the issue instead of confronting it head on. So even though it might be hard to remember, I encourage everyone to try and use the expression "died by suicide." It might seem trivial at first, but it can also start to show others in need that this is not something that they will be shamed for if they ask for help.
So many people out there are struggling alone and the loss of a loved one can be utterly devastating. It is important to remember that when someone takes their own life, it is not a crime or an attempt to hurt others, but a result of a mental illness. The most difficult aspect of mental illness is that often no one else can see it, so possibilities for treatment depend on the person at risk coming forward and asking for help. Please help me to change the culture around how we talk about suicide because I truly believe it could make a difference.
If you're looking for more resources on this issue, please visit www.suicide-iowacountywi.org.

Hannah Puralewski
Dodgeville